Disability? Or just another obstacle?

Whenever someone asks me to describe me, I never start with mentioning that I have Cerebral Palsy because I feel that even though CP is a big part of my life, it doesn’t define me at all compared to other important aspects of my personality that define and identify me. Instead, I think of it as “just another obstacle in everyday life.” Everyone has their own problems and the fact that mine are visible to everyone doesn’t make mine more important than theirs. I just need to overcome it the same way as they do – yes it is hard to overcome but again why would it be called an obstacle if it was not hard? Honestly, the fact that I was born with CP makes it easier to put it off to the side because I have no part of my life to look back to without CP. When you experience something for your entire life, even if it is an abnormality, life without it becomes hard to imagine because you have accepted it as a part of you. At the same time, you are totally fine with having that experience without it as well. It’s sort of like those fiction books where the characters are placed in a world which doesn’t have a basic element of the world we live in such as electricity. The reader’s first reaction might be “Wow! How can they live without such a basic luxury that I use every day?’ However, as they read, they find that the characters naturally find a way to get around it, just as I find a way around the things I can not do due to CP that everyone else can without even thinking once that my disability is hindering me from achieving these tasks. Some people ask me why I never get upset when I need to repeat what I already said because they didn’t understand it the first time. My reply is that if there have been 1000 instances in which I repeated what I say, why should I get annoyed about repeating my words the 1001st time. Instead, I am grateful that the person listening to me has the patience and the willingness to try to understand my speech. 

I use my walker for walking in public places all the time, even to walk long distances in airports and malls. Keep in mind that more than often, people have offered a wheelchair and I have politely and smilingly said ‘No’. Why no? It’s not that I consider using it disrespectful in any way and that should never be the case, but I have really worked so hard on my walking to get to a point where I don’t use a wheelchair to go from one place to another, and I hope I can keep it this way. And the more I practice walking with my walker, the better I would get every day, every week, every month, and every year. I spent almost all day doing therapy in elementary school. If I use a wheelchair, I feel I might get tempted to use it more and more, after all it is easier to use that than walking with a walker. And if that happens, I feel that all of my hard work doing exercise instead of playing in my childhood could get wasted, and wasting my hard work that I used to overcome obstacles and accomplish something is not something I would ever want to do. I feel like using what I learned to become stronger and keep doing hard physical activities is a better option for me than sitting in a wheelchair, even though the latter could be much easier and more relaxing.

I also love challenging myself in activities that could be physically challenging even for people without disabilities. These include biking, hiking, obstacle courses, and some sports. The reason I participate in these activities is that I don’t want to miss out on having those common experiences just because of my disabilities. They all have some pros other than getting a good exercise. For example, when you are biking, you can go long distances in a short amount of time and admire nature along the way. After hiking up a mountain, you can see the beautiful view of all of the terrain below. In rope courses, you have the wonderful feeling of being up in the rooftops and soaring through the sky while ziplining at the end. Skating lets you glide gracefully on the ice, skiing lets you travel downhill quickly, and swimming gives you an edge for several water-based activities. Although I can not be as skilled in these activities as any other person without a disability, I am happy to be able to figure out how to do them with some extra support and guidance.

When kids look at me and ask questions like what is that I am using to walk, I explain to them gladly, and I feel happy because they will understand more about people with disabilities and then learn to appreciate them a little more for what they have overcome to get this far.

There have been quite a few events where I needed to navigate the world independently with CP. In the past, I had been extremely used to going to public places with my parents as well as being independent in school where everyone knows me and adjusts to my capabilities accordingly. But since high school, I have had considerable experience with events like Girl Scout, college events such as Splash, hanging out with my friends, and doing extracurricular activities such as Russian School of Mathematics and skating. In those events I figure out important skills such as walking fast enough to get to places on time, taking help from other people when I need it, and communicating effectively so people who don’t know me will understand. Honestly, this is still a developing process which I will feel more comfortable in through more experience. Here are a few techniques I have discovered which help me during these situations:

• When I am in a restaurant and I am ordering, I put my finger on the menu item while I speak.
• At college events such as Splash, I ask the teachers and other volunteers to set up, pack, and carry my computer while going from one class to another.
• While I am volunteering at Girl Scout events, I try to pick the job I am most successful at like Photo booths or ticket counters.
• If people do not understand me, I repeat what I am saying more slowly and use gestures if I can. If they still don’t understand me, I type it out on my phone. 
• When I need to walk on uneven surfaces, I try to ask for help but put as much effort as I can.
• For hikes, to keep up with everyone’s speed, I usually hold 2 people’s hands and then I am never that far behind!

I have always been able to figure a way out as to how to achieve my goals successfully. I have been able to navigate everywhere, knocking out all obstacles, and moving on to the next level. That’s what makes me confident that if I ever get to be in a new situation, I would be able to figure out my way through that situation.