College is a big change for many students, which enables them to grow in various ways throughout the first year. As with all new steps in life, it leads to initial feelings of anxiety, nervousness along with a ‘yay’ kind of feeling, and I was no different thinking through all this in the summer of 2021. In the end, I wanted to get the most out of college in terms of learning, independence, life-long friendships and fun.  

Through the first year, I have grown since I needed to learn how to live independently in a new environment. In order to live alone independently, I needed to learn how to ask for help from new people like helping me carry my filled plate in the cafeteria, opening the doors that were not handicap accessible, carrying my walker where there was no accessibility, etc. I had some practice at that before college, but I needed to constantly do it at the beginning of the year. I was aware of this and thankfully everyone was willing to help. After one or two weeks people started knowing me better and helping me on their own. 

I also need to learn how to set up my room so that I am able to get ready on my own in a timely manner. My parents set it up initially and then I learned what is the best position for everything so I am the most efficient. I also had to make sure that I leave enough time to get ready – things you take for granted at home because parents can remind you of the clock when you forget! 

I plan my day so that I spend my time efficiently and develop a relationship between my friends while also doing well in my classes. For traveling, I try to find the best way to get from class to class before classes start and plan my schedule and meals so that travel is minimized. My classes are generally a 15-20 minutes walk from my dorm. I also plan my day in a way that once I am done with my classes and go back to my dorm, I stay over there. If I have some activity (such as office hours) near my classes at night, I stay in that area the entire day. For lunch, the cafe in the Strata building was my go to since going to one of the dorms for lunch took too much time. I also started to carry around bars in case I didn’t have time to order a full lunch. At the beginning of the year, I only attended virtual office hours so that I could do them in my dorm, but then I realized that they were not enough, so I started attending in-person office hours too. If I was walking back too late in the night with my walker, I used to turn the walker lights on and blinking so I could stay safe. Dinner time with my friends became my primary break time, but I also planned one fun activity with them on the weekends. 

Now that I am more adjusted to college, I feel more confident about next year. I am also looking forward to having more experiences and learning more from them as I keep growing throughout the next three years. Watch for my next blog on this – rest assured it will have more lessons and learnings. 

When I was entering MIT, I was worried about what I would do because there are very few people with disabilities at MIT, and I did not know anyone who had a physical disability like me. Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised at how much everyone supported me. Inside the classroom, professors made sure that I am able to do the same activities as everyone else, and that my experience in the class is not impacted by my disability. They understand that I am flexible and am able to participate in class and do the same work as other students, and if I feel that I can’t for some reason, I will let them know. They are also very patient when I talk, and try to understand my speech. One specific example of a professor supporting me is when I had my first class in a gigantic lecture hall.  I sent an email to my computer science professor telling me that I need some accommodations and I wanted to meet with him to discuss them. After the meeting, he sent me a long email describing all of the aspects in the class and asking me if they worked well. He also gave me suggestions of some accommodations that might help me. He also connected me with a TA who holds virtual office hours for me every week since it is hard for me to go to in-person ones. Also, since the class is very big, it felt very nice to be supported this much. This is just one of the several experiences – honestly, I can say something related to this for all of my professors. I was also in a first year learning community called Experimental Study Group (ESG) in which I took a few classes in. They had small classes of about 10 students each. This made it easier to connect to professors and ask for help from them. Before my classes started, I needed to write a list of all of the accommodations that are shared with each professor. The list included things like note taking and seating accommodations. Before the first class, my math professor talked to me and mentioned that he will put all of the notes on his website. He also helped me set up the computer and made sure that I had the right seating arrangement during class and office hours. He also brainstormed ways that will help me draw diagrams.

Outside the classroom, the faculty helps me when I need it. The faculty that work at the dining hall always help me get food and get bundled up to go outside. The house team provides me with all of the dorm-related accommodations that I need to live alone comfortably. There is an automatic door opener in front of my room that I can open with my MIT ID. I have a bathroom with an accessible shower that I can use on my own. If I need help for something, and a faculty member is not there to help me, I ask another student to help me. Even students who I have never met are willing to help me. Some students also ask me if I want help if they see me doing something that I could use help in. Everyone is so caring that it feels like home!

For traveling, I walk with my walker. My dorm is pretty close to the rest of the campus, so it is not hard to walk with my walker. I have lived all of my life in Massachusetts, so I am used to walking in harsh weather – turning the lights on with my walker etc. I just need to be careful so that I have enough time to go in between classes and plan my schedule that way. Some people also walked with me on the way back when it was dark. They would just offer help without even my asking! The first week or two of the semester is a little hard because I need to figure out where to go, when to eat… but over time I develop an optimal schedule.

Despite all of the support, there were obviously a lot of times that I needed to advocate for what I wanted. For example, I needed automatic door openers in all of the doors that I go through on a daily basis including my room in the dorm. So I advocated that to the house team in Mccormick and the disability office, and I got that accommodation. I also requested for a standing desk in my room given the long hours of study I had and I cannot sit for that long. Sometimes, it takes a while to get the accommodations, which is a little annoying, but I am always able to figure out how to manage until I get those accommodations.

I always want everyone to understand that I am capable of taking care of myself and doing the same activities as other students, even though I have a disability and need some accommodations. Some professors seem kind of “worried” or “concerned” initially about how I will participate in the activities in class, and I understand and appreciate that because it shows that they care about me and my experience in their class, but some of them soon realize that they don’t have to be that worried. For professors who like to discuss things with me before (like how to do presentations, etc), I work with them to discuss the best possible options. For professors who don’t reach out to me to discuss accommodations for a particular activity, I come up with a good solution on my own and if I need help, I reach out on my own. Even the house team seemed a little worried about what if I needed help and nobody was available to help me, but over time they realized that I’m pretty independent, and got more comfortable. It is so nice to know that I’m surrounded by so many caring and supporting people, and even if I’m further away from my home, I am not alone!

When I was entering elementary school, my kindergarten teacher had remarked “why is she thinking of joining my class? There are other schools for children with these special needs.” I was young but definitely not that small that I did not understand what she meant. I probably have heard the word, ‘special needs’ right from day 1 of my life without understanding anything on it. As kids learn what tricycle, biking, swimming etc is, I learnt what the word special needs actually meant. It meant that I was unique in a way that I cannot do what other kids of my age can. It meant I was different but being different is not wrong (Even today I don’t feel that, so why then!) Of course, either way, entering a school without my family and hearing this word scared me a bit. Anyways, I went on moving forward with my curiosity and eagerness to learn and forgot about it.  Later by the end of the year, the very same teacher said that I am a great student and she loved teaching me! That is when all of this came back as a flashback but overall I was happy I wiped away her doubts. This was the first time that I got the confidence that people around me just don’t know me and I need to give myself a chance that I deserve – a chance to be with everyone, a chance to be in a regular class despite all of the limitations I have due to Cerebral Palsy, a chance to prove myself to me, a chance to think I can do it and a chance to actually do it! In a nutshell, I had to be a little girl just like everyone else with certain adaptations in my life that cannot stop me. 

In first grade, I continued being a good student and doing the same work as the rest of the peers. I also started hanging out with other classmates more during recess. I would do the best I could in participating in games with them. This interaction made me explore myself beyond CP and connect with the rest of the world. I realized that even though my disability makes me very different from other kids from the outside, I actually have a lot more in common which is not connected to my disability. I can laugh at the same silly jokes, love the same silly books, and learn the same way! I was always the first one to raise my hands even though I knew that maybe nobody would understand me right away. But does that matter – answering a question makes me know whether I have understood correctly or not and that is what matters for learning in school, right? For my classwork, I ended up typing everything because it was too hard for me to write neatly. I had an assistant who scanned exactly the same work as other students were given (including homework, classwork, and tests) onto my computer for me to complete. The fact that I was able to sit with other students and participate in the class along with them made me very happy.

As classes got harder in third grade, I realized that I needed to spend more time than other kids on my homework because it took me more time to type the same things that other kids can write. However, I did not let it stop me from decreasing the quality of my work or not completing it on time. I started doing typing games as other kids practiced cursive writing. I took that as a part of my life and continued doing the same work as my peers. Instead of being annoyed or sad that it is harder to do my schoolwork because of CP, I felt proud that I was able to overcome every obstacle by working on it. This made me more confident that I can accomplish the same things as others despite the fact that I am a little slower physically. But, I walked with my walker everywhere in school and in recess because it will only get better with practice, right? 

By sixth grade, the difference in speed had begun to show. I ended up taking more time during tests because I did not want to write less or get the questions wrong or miss some questions. The special education teacher recommended that I should do a different test with less questions than other students. Her reasoning was that otherwise I will not have experience with other kids on other class activities because I would be too busy with finishing my tests. But, not doing all of the tests questions will negatively impact my learning which is also not an experience I wanted to have! So, I did not agree to her because I wanted to get the same chance to demonstrate and access my knowledge as all of the other children. Also, I knew that if I started getting into the habit of having less work than others, I was worried that it will just carry over in the future and impact more important exams. So, I had to think of a way to solve this problem and talk to my school teachers about it. Of course we all as a team found a solution: Everyone was required to take gym as one of their electives, but that is one class that I would have trouble in doing the same things as others. Therefore, I started having an adaptive gym class once a week in which the teacher modified physical games so I could do them. I also set goals for myself which I achieved by pushing myself to improve in a certain task. Since I could not go to the gym with other kids, I decided to have that extra free period to finish my tests. This way I could continue achieving my goal of doing the same work as other peers. Also, the adaptive gym and my treadmill at home covered my physical strengthening! 

As I grew to middle school, I started interacting more with kids of my age. I enjoyed working with my classmates on activities and sharing my ideas with them. I loved that they were extremely patient with me when it took me longer to communicate with them or type my answers down.  I also talked more to them in lunch than I did in elementary school. I enjoyed discussing my favorite activities and classes. Since I was going into after-school clubs, it was fun sharing my experiences with them and learning about other clubs in school. I got a really good chance to know about other activities that I didn’t usually participate in and be a part of the community. I also met more students in clubs and became friendly with them. The clubs gave me an opportunity to continue doing the same activities as others even though they were not related to academics. This made me also join and participate in many Girl Scout activities. We had loads of fun activities and volunteering there – pyjama night, game night, movie night, bingo night, and dance night! 

In high school, I started taking an online class each year instead of going to a regular gym class. This allowed me to explore subjects that I am interested in by taking classes that aren’t offered in school. This also gave me a free period to finish my tests in school. My adaptive gym goal was to keep getting faster at timed laps around the school and that along with all the walking between classes kept me active all day! Also, I am my only competitor in all physical activities.

However, in 11th grade I did not take an online class because I found the classes I was offered in school to be very interesting. I took an extremely hard course load of five Advanced Placement classes which meant that the tests had a high writing component. Also, I needed to write timed essays to get ready for the AP tests which were also timed. The combination of losing my free classes and taking such a heavy course load presented a huge challenge to me, but I was ready to conquer it just like I had conquered all of the other challenges. Fortunately, my school had an extra flex period that occurred on 5 days out of the 8-day cycle. The teachers used those flex periods to host extra help sessions and fun enrichment activities that I wanted to try out. Additionally, I needed to go for my AP Chemistry lab on one day each cycle. As a result, I got some time to finish my tests during the flex period but not as much as I did when I took an online class. I took every opportunity that I had to finish my tests and forced myself to work faster without writing less or guessing on questions because I did not have enough time to think through and answer them. My success at getting good grades despite all of these problems proved to me that I am ready for the heavy coursework at top colleges.

Even though I had a lot of difficulties due to CP, going to a regular school enabled me to explore my interests and personality beyond CP. It also connected me to the community and helped me improve my communication and self-advocacy skills. It has achieved a big role in getting me ready for the real world and gave me confidence that I can overcome any obstacle that I get.

When I was in preschool, I met my first school assistant. In those days, she was with me all the time because I needed a lot of help in doing class activities and moving around in the class. Also, for some reason, school personnel were super-nervous with me walking all the time with the walker. They thought I would get tired. But, in 6 months, they realized that I would never say I was tired! So, they understood I wanted to walk! But they were still worried to leave me alone for the fear that I would fall. This continued in elementary school with my new assistant. She would be with me from the time I got picked up to the time I got dropped off, even during lunch. When she got busy with scanning my work on the computer, I asked for a second assistant to sit with me during class because it was hard for me to keep up with the pace of the class while starting new activities, changing subjects, and communicating with my teachers and classmates. Also, independence was not the main goal for me or the school back then. Instead, my focus was on adapting to the school environment with all of the problems I had due to Cerebral Palsy and school’s focus was the same and my safety.

Over time, I had successfully figured out a way to navigate the school environment and was ready to focus more on being independent. I also got a new assistant who realized that I was capable of doing more on my own. I started to walk from the entrance to my locker on my own as well as in between classes. My assistant started to stand further away from me in classes instead of sitting right next to me. This enabled me to learn how to communicate effectively with teachers and other students without relying on my assistant to repeat what I am saying. My teachers got used to talking directly to me instead of my assistant which I loved because I could make my own decisions based on what I feel is best for me. Soon, both school and I realized that one assistant is enough for me because I don’t need someone to be in class all the time. I also started going to lunch alone. I would ask for help from my friends instead of an adult. This gave me more freedom to decide when I need help and when I can figure it out on my own. It also made me confident that I don’t need someone to be right beside me all the time and made me realize that there are a lot of people in the world that I can take help from. I felt more connected and similar to other students around me instead of being treated separately due to my disability.

In high school, I started focusing more on navigating the school environment independently. I started going to clubs on my own, whereas my assistant would come with me when I was in middle school. If I needed help, I asked other club members. I also got used to going to my locker on my own to get my binders and other materials for class. When I was short of time, I asked students around me to help so I could get to class on time. This enabled me to meet new students my age. I also learned important planning and time management skills along the way. Even though it was hard to take help from other people at first, I realized that the social benefits made it far better than taking help from my assistant. I also got independent in asking teachers questions after school and advocating for my needs. Were there times when someone else besides me would have been better? Yes sure. But do I prefer trying to solve the problems in those situations on my own, even if it is a bit of a struggle? Absolutely no doubt about it. And independence? Definitely a goal striving for…

Whenever someone asks me to describe me, I never start with mentioning that I have Cerebral Palsy because I feel that even though CP is a big part of my life, it doesn’t define me at all compared to other important aspects of my personality that define and identify me. Instead, I think of it as “just another obstacle in everyday life.” Everyone has their own problems and the fact that mine are visible to everyone doesn’t make mine more important than theirs. I just need to overcome it the same way as they do – yes it is hard to overcome but again why would it be called an obstacle if it was not hard? Honestly, the fact that I was born with CP makes it easier to put it off to the side because I have no part of my life to look back to without CP. When you experience something for your entire life, even if it is an abnormality, life without it becomes hard to imagine because you have accepted it as a part of you. At the same time, you are totally fine with having that experience without it as well. It’s sort of like those fiction books where the characters are placed in a world which doesn’t have a basic element of the world we live in such as electricity. The reader’s first reaction might be “Wow! How can they live without such a basic luxury that I use every day?’ However, as they read, they find that the characters naturally find a way to get around it, just as I find a way around the things I can not do due to CP that everyone else can without even thinking once that my disability is hindering me from achieving these tasks. Some people ask me why I never get upset when I need to repeat what I already said because they didn’t understand it the first time. My reply is that if there have been 1000 instances in which I repeated what I say, why should I get annoyed about repeating my words the 1001st time. Instead, I am grateful that the person listening to me has the patience and the willingness to try to understand my speech. 

I use my walker for walking in public places all the time, even to walk long distances in airports and malls. Keep in mind that more than often, people have offered a wheelchair and I have politely and smilingly said ‘No’. Why no? It’s not that I consider using it disrespectful in any way and that should never be the case, but I have really worked so hard on my walking to get to a point where I don’t use a wheelchair to go from one place to another, and I hope I can keep it this way. And the more I practice walking with my walker, the better I would get every day, every week, every month, and every year. I spent almost all day doing therapy in elementary school. If I use a wheelchair, I feel I might get tempted to use it more and more, after all it is easier to use that than walking with a walker. And if that happens, I feel that all of my hard work doing exercise instead of playing in my childhood could get wasted, and wasting my hard work that I used to overcome obstacles and accomplish something is not something I would ever want to do. I feel like using what I learned to become stronger and keep doing hard physical activities is a better option for me than sitting in a wheelchair, even though the latter could be much easier and more relaxing.

I also love challenging myself in activities that could be physically challenging even for people without disabilities. These include biking, hiking, obstacle courses, and some sports. The reason I participate in these activities is that I don’t want to miss out on having those common experiences just because of my disabilities. They all have some pros other than getting a good exercise. For example, when you are biking, you can go long distances in a short amount of time and admire nature along the way. After hiking up a mountain, you can see the beautiful view of all of the terrain below. In rope courses, you have the wonderful feeling of being up in the rooftops and soaring through the sky while ziplining at the end. Skating lets you glide gracefully on the ice, skiing lets you travel downhill quickly, and swimming gives you an edge for several water-based activities. Although I can not be as skilled in these activities as any other person without a disability, I am happy to be able to figure out how to do them with some extra support and guidance.

When kids look at me and ask questions like what is that I am using to walk, I explain to them gladly, and I feel happy because they will understand more about people with disabilities and then learn to appreciate them a little more for what they have overcome to get this far.

There have been quite a few events where I needed to navigate the world independently with CP. In the past, I had been extremely used to going to public places with my parents as well as being independent in school where everyone knows me and adjusts to my capabilities accordingly. But since high school, I have had considerable experience with events like Girl Scout, college events such as Splash, hanging out with my friends, and doing extracurricular activities such as Russian School of Mathematics and skating. In those events I figure out important skills such as walking fast enough to get to places on time, taking help from other people when I need it, and communicating effectively so people who don’t know me will understand. Honestly, this is still a developing process which I will feel more comfortable in through more experience. Here are a few techniques I have discovered which help me during these situations:

• When I am in a restaurant and I am ordering, I put my finger on the menu item while I speak.
• At college events such as Splash, I ask the teachers and other volunteers to set up, pack, and carry my computer while going from one class to another.
• While I am volunteering at Girl Scout events, I try to pick the job I am most successful at like Photo booths or ticket counters.
• If people do not understand me, I repeat what I am saying more slowly and use gestures if I can. If they still don’t understand me, I type it out on my phone. 
• When I need to walk on uneven surfaces, I try to ask for help but put as much effort as I can.
• For hikes, to keep up with everyone’s speed, I usually hold 2 people’s hands and then I am never that far behind!

I have always been able to figure a way out as to how to achieve my goals successfully. I have been able to navigate everywhere, knocking out all obstacles, and moving on to the next level. That’s what makes me confident that if I ever get to be in a new situation, I would be able to figure out my way through that situation.

Waiting in the room at the base of the Amazon Rainforest Trail, I could hear the murmurs coming out of the adjacent room. Then the skinny guide came out walking apologetically towards me and my parents. “I am sorry, but you will not be able to go because there would be a long hike to where we would be staying which you would not be able to do,” he said sheepishly. As I stood there noting a repeat pattern here, my mind began remembering some of the other similar incidents.

Years ago, when I was joining the public school system, my teacher had asked “why is she thinking of joining my class, there are other schools for children with special needs?” I clearly remember being scared when I heard that. But gradually, my curiosity and eagerness to learn wiped away her doubts, and by the end of the year, she said that I am a great student and she loved teaching me.

A similar thing happened while joining a private math institute in 8th grade for extra classes. At the end of my first class, the teacher told my mom and me “I can teach her.” I thought Obviously, you can teach me. However, I realized how fearful he was in teaching me before I came to the class. Therefore, I tried to make it as easy for him to teach me even if it meant that I needed to type my questions up before verbally asking them so that it takes less time, which I normally don’t like to do. Over time the teacher began to understand me more and felt more confident in teaching me. On the last day, while the students were having fun on the playground, he took me out to the top of the stairs and talked to me about my plans for the summer. That time I felt great that I was able to make another person who was originally nervous about having me in his class able to appreciate my good-natured and determined personality.

When I went for obstacle courses with my parents, the volunteers used to be very worried about sending me up and would provide me more support than what I needed. I told them that I did not need as much help and that I could do more on my own. Slowly, I maneuvered through the obstacles and came about with effective strategies to target them along the way. As I did more obstacle courses, I became more experienced in going through them and tried harder levels for older children. After every obstacle, I feel so proud of myself and how I accomplished what is physically challenging for other children even with CP.

My dad went to a couple of obstacle courses with his friends when I was in 7th grade. In one event, there was a separate obstacle course for children and people with disabilities which I did. Since most of the kids with special needs had only a mental disability, the volunteers started by helping me more than I needed. I wanted to do as much as possible on my own, but there were obstacles that they literally carried me over. I was getting a little frustrated, and was asking them to just let me try it myself as much as I can. Finally, when I proved that I was able to do more than they thought I could, they let me do more on my own. I gave a big smile when my picture with my deserved medal was taken after finishing the race even though it took me much longer to get through than other children. I also participated in another obstacle course called GritnWit, which also had some challenging puzzles as well as obstacles like climbing ladders, carrying heavy objects, and walking across uneven surfaces. This was my favorite obstacle course because I loved the mixture of brain and brawn. Also, It was very interesting that depending on how well you complete the puzzles, the obstacles become more or less challenging by changing factors such as the amount of weight you need to carry.

When I tried adaptive skiing, the skiing instructor asked my dad “will she understand me?” I quickly said yes without giving him another second to consider that question. Then I tried taking a few steps with my skis. It was obviously extremely difficult to keep my balance, but I did not give up. I kept walking until I felt comfortable in my skis. After two sessions, I was ready to go uphill. I went a few steps and skied down. Even though I kept losing my balance while going down, I kept trying until I mastered the small slope. Finally, I was ready to go on the ski lift and go all the way down the bunny slope. When I was able to get all the way down without falling, I exclaimed looking back at the slope “Wow, I did all this on my own!”.

Now, after remembering all of these incidents, I felt ready to take on the challenge. I told the guide that I had taken so many long hikes before and that I can do this one too. I got mentally ready and started the walk. Even though the rest of the group quickly went ahead of me, I preserved and fought the tiredness and pain in my muscles through every step. I felt wonderful to be able to prove to myself and the rest of the world that I can do whatever I want to even with a physical disability. And the beauty and experience of the rainforest soon made me forget most of my pains. The rest went away with the sighting of a huge tarantula in my room as was preparing to sleep!!!