School Life with Disability – Integration with the School

When I was entering elementary school, my kindergarten teacher had remarked “why is she thinking of joining my class? There are other schools for children with these special needs.” I was young but definitely not that small that I did not understand what she meant. I probably have heard the word, ‘special needs’ right from day 1 of my life without understanding anything on it. As kids learn what tricycle, biking, swimming etc is, I learnt what the word special needs actually meant. It meant that I was unique in a way that I cannot do what other kids of my age can. It meant I was different but being different is not wrong (Even today I don’t feel that, so why then!) Of course, either way, entering a school without my family and hearing this word scared me a bit. Anyways, I went on moving forward with my curiosity and eagerness to learn and forgot about it.  Later by the end of the year, the very same teacher said that I am a great student and she loved teaching me! That is when all of this came back as a flashback but overall I was happy I wiped away her doubts. This was the first time that I got the confidence that people around me just don’t know me and I need to give myself a chance that I deserve – a chance to be with everyone, a chance to be in a regular class despite all of the limitations I have due to Cerebral Palsy, a chance to prove myself to me, a chance to think I can do it and a chance to actually do it! In a nutshell, I had to be a little girl just like everyone else with certain adaptations in my life that cannot stop me. 

In first grade, I continued being a good student and doing the same work as the rest of the peers. I also started hanging out with other classmates more during recess. I would do the best I could in participating in games with them. This interaction made me explore myself beyond CP and connect with the rest of the world. I realized that even though my disability makes me very different from other kids from the outside, I actually have a lot more in common which is not connected to my disability. I can laugh at the same silly jokes, love the same silly books, and learn the same way! I was always the first one to raise my hands even though I knew that maybe nobody would understand me right away. But does that matter – answering a question makes me know whether I have understood correctly or not and that is what matters for learning in school, right? For my classwork, I ended up typing everything because it was too hard for me to write neatly. I had an assistant who scanned exactly the same work as other students were given (including homework, classwork, and tests) onto my computer for me to complete. The fact that I was able to sit with other students and participate in the class along with them made me very happy.

As classes got harder in third grade, I realized that I needed to spend more time than other kids on my homework because it took me more time to type the same things that other kids can write. However, I did not let it stop me from decreasing the quality of my work or not completing it on time. I started doing typing games as other kids practiced cursive writing. I took that as a part of my life and continued doing the same work as my peers. Instead of being annoyed or sad that it is harder to do my schoolwork because of CP, I felt proud that I was able to overcome every obstacle by working on it. This made me more confident that I can accomplish the same things as others despite the fact that I am a little slower physically. But, I walked with my walker everywhere in school and in recess because it will only get better with practice, right? 

By sixth grade, the difference in speed had begun to show. I ended up taking more time during tests because I did not want to write less or get the questions wrong or miss some questions. The special education teacher recommended that I should do a different test with less questions than other students. Her reasoning was that otherwise I will not have experience with other kids on other class activities because I would be too busy with finishing my tests. But, not doing all of the tests questions will negatively impact my learning which is also not an experience I wanted to have! So, I did not agree to her because I wanted to get the same chance to demonstrate and access my knowledge as all of the other children. Also, I knew that if I started getting into the habit of having less work than others, I was worried that it will just carry over in the future and impact more important exams. So, I had to think of a way to solve this problem and talk to my school teachers about it. Of course we all as a team found a solution: Everyone was required to take gym as one of their electives, but that is one class that I would have trouble in doing the same things as others. Therefore, I started having an adaptive gym class once a week in which the teacher modified physical games so I could do them. I also set goals for myself which I achieved by pushing myself to improve in a certain task. Since I could not go to the gym with other kids, I decided to have that extra free period to finish my tests. This way I could continue achieving my goal of doing the same work as other peers. Also, the adaptive gym and my treadmill at home covered my physical strengthening! 

As I grew to middle school, I started interacting more with kids of my age. I enjoyed working with my classmates on activities and sharing my ideas with them. I loved that they were extremely patient with me when it took me longer to communicate with them or type my answers down.  I also talked more to them in lunch than I did in elementary school. I enjoyed discussing my favorite activities and classes. Since I was going into after-school clubs, it was fun sharing my experiences with them and learning about other clubs in school. I got a really good chance to know about other activities that I didn’t usually participate in and be a part of the community. I also met more students in clubs and became friendly with them. The clubs gave me an opportunity to continue doing the same activities as others even though they were not related to academics. This made me also join and participate in many Girl Scout activities. We had loads of fun activities and volunteering there – pyjama night, game night, movie night, bingo night, and dance night! 

In high school, I started taking an online class each year instead of going to a regular gym class. This allowed me to explore subjects that I am interested in by taking classes that aren’t offered in school. This also gave me a free period to finish my tests in school. My adaptive gym goal was to keep getting faster at timed laps around the school and that along with all the walking between classes kept me active all day! Also, I am my only competitor in all physical activities.

However, in 11th grade I did not take an online class because I found the classes I was offered in school to be very interesting. I took an extremely hard course load of five Advanced Placement classes which meant that the tests had a high writing component. Also, I needed to write timed essays to get ready for the AP tests which were also timed. The combination of losing my free classes and taking such a heavy course load presented a huge challenge to me, but I was ready to conquer it just like I had conquered all of the other challenges. Fortunately, my school had an extra flex period that occurred on 5 days out of the 8-day cycle. The teachers used those flex periods to host extra help sessions and fun enrichment activities that I wanted to try out. Additionally, I needed to go for my AP Chemistry lab on one day each cycle. As a result, I got some time to finish my tests during the flex period but not as much as I did when I took an online class. I took every opportunity that I had to finish my tests and forced myself to work faster without writing less or guessing on questions because I did not have enough time to think through and answer them. My success at getting good grades despite all of these problems proved to me that I am ready for the heavy coursework at top colleges.

Even though I had a lot of difficulties due to CP, going to a regular school enabled me to explore my interests and personality beyond CP. It also connected me to the community and helped me improve my communication and self-advocacy skills. It has achieved a big role in getting me ready for the real world and gave me confidence that I can overcome any obstacle that I get.